A lot of my comedy, whether it’s the Glasgow’s West end mum character or the Govanhill-based hospitality drama edition of Mastermind, is very deliberately parochial. It’s like an ‘in’ joke among pals. That’s partly why I decided against taking my show to the Fringe this year. Too much re-writing required if I want the jokes to have broad appeal.
Something that does seem to have broad appeal however, is rat. Don’t worry, I’m not about to write a think piece interrogating why a 21 second clip of a woman furiously gnashing her teeth has resonated with so many people (as far as Hollywood - Barbie Ferreira from Euphoria ‘liked’ it, OMG!). But it’s reassuring to know that there are so many secret rats out there. Erratically chomping and nibbling is our love language.
I’m serious, it’s a love language. Pretending I’m a creature, making strange noises, nibbling, doing a creepy goblin dance: all of these are things that I choose to do to my partner, in private. Usually while he stares into the distance, patiently waiting for it to be over.
When I started seeing my current partner, I kept a mental log of the first time I did something “weird”. On the first date, you have to suppress the madness. You can’t just pull a Gollum face out of nowhere. A friend of mine jumped onto her boyfriend’s back and shrieked “I’m a spider monkey!” after just a few weeks of dating. It was very awkward. It worked out though, they are now married.
It took me 14 days to make a goblin noise. It just felt right.
Readiness to do ratface is probably a useful barometer of how comfortable you are with someone. If your potential love interest starts making disgusting mouth noises or crab hands or creeping around like a witch then chances are, they like you. This performance is their magnum opus; you are the chosen one, the sole recipient. What a privilege! That’s love.
Things I left the house for
It’s been a busy old time but I suppose that’s just June.
I caught Adam Ross singing out the Glasgow Science Festival wrap party on Monday. Tuesday I went to Glasgow Skeptics to hear Marie Bowers do some myth-busting for Gypsy Roma Traveller History Month. Wednesday I saw Chris Fleming at Glee (which coincided with the Scotland match; not an issue for the hipster/women biased audience); Thursday I finally got to see Tony Morris live, at the Poetry Club.
If you haven’t seen Tony’s “kind of songs” on instagram then I suggest you rectify that immediately. He was brilliant live too.
Saturday, I headed down to Mansfield Park to see the Phonoautobothy (solar-powered recording studio) in action. And of course I had to record something. I hastily scribbled some rat-themed lyrics and had a very enjoyable jam with Matt Brennan, the end product being “The Rat Tapes”, modelled below.
Delighted that the first recording I’ve ever made was in the best neighbourhood (Partick) and solar-powered. Cool AF. The Burning Hell / Idefield Art Lab crew who built the studio are heading back to Canada now. Bon voyage to them, thanks for an excellent time!
Last night I saw Kathleen Hughes and Hannah Campbell workshop their Fringe shows, which look like they’re going to be good fun. Kathleen even had a rat joke, it is truly rat girl summer.
Outro
There’s still time to grab tickets for Material Girl at The Stand on Sunday 30 June. It’s a matinee show (the best kind of show) and I’m opening. Headlined by the brilliant Josie Long.